I’ve always been a very busy person. Like I discussed here, I have always had a career and that was always very important to me. Then I became a mom and my priorities changed. I still enjoyed working and I could manage being a pretty decent Working Mom (WM), I just didn’t want to spend as many hours doing it.
When we moved to Dushanbe I found myself in the position of not having to work. Not only could I not get a job (hiring freeze) but financially, for the first time EVER, we did not have to rely on a second salary to survive.
And so I gladly accepted the position of Stay At Home Mom (SAHM). Let me tell you that this job is no walk in the park. Entertaining a Little Love for that many hours every day is hard work! But I loved it. I loved our routine and I loved having adventures and play dates and learning things together.
I probably worked more hours per day than I ever have in my life and had to be more focused and attentive to my “client’s” needs than ever before but it was definitely the most rewarding job I could ever have asked for.
When the US Government lifted their hiring freeze I threw my applications in hoping to get a part time position so that I could get out of the house and have grown-up conversations again, but also so that I could also keep some of my precious hours at home with Little Love.
Of course, as fate would have it, I was offered a full-time job in the real world. I really struggled with my decision of whether I should take on this challenge. I was so racked with mom guilt that the when I received the phone call with my start date I cried,
sad tears, for hours.
I debated (with myself) for many hours. Wondering if taking the job was the right thing to do. Would Little Love resent me when she was older because I worked outside of the home? Both my parents had full time jobs when I was little and I turned out OK. I don’t have any harboring hard feelings towards my parents because our housekeeper picked me up from school and made sure I did my homework. In fact that special lady became part of our family and I am forever grateful for the things she taught me.
So I took the job. I started on Little Love’s second birthday (oh boy did that elicit even more mom guilt!). We found a wonderful playgroup to keep her entertained each morning and a very caring nanny to take care of her in the afternoon.
And she’s OK. And I’m OK.
She loves her school and the friends that she’s made. She’s learning Russian, playing games and singing songs. Aziza is her new best friend and she welcomes me home very day with smiles, laughs and “Mummy! Mummy! Mummy!”
I’m using my brain, my skills and my experience. I’m enjoying being my own person and eating lunch without trying to coax a toddler to eat too.
I consider myself very lucky to have been given the opportunity to be a SAHM for 6 months and I am thankful for the support I received with my decision to go back to work.