Learning to Love my Sleepless Nights

As a mom of a 5 month old baby girl I’m constantly getting asked the question, “Is your baby sleeping through the night?” The short answer is No.  So why do I feel the need to explain myself? Well no, BUT, we’re getting a lot better; She only wakes up once to feed;  Some nights are better than others… Blah Blah Blah! She’s 5 months old! It’s totally normal for us not to be sleeping through the night.

But I’m also surrounded by stories of babies who are wonderful sleepers which keeps me asking  What am I doing wrong?  I started obsessing about why my baby wasn’t sleeping and what could I feed her before bed to get her to sleep longer? Formula didn’t do anything, a bed time top off boob didn’t do anything. Oatmeal didn’t really do anything either. Why are none of the recommendations and suggestions working for us?! Am I doomed to never sleep again?

Sensing my imminent breakdown a friend sent me  this link. This post is so beautifully written by a mom who was going through the same sleepless nights. This mom’s story really opened my eyes and parts of my brain and my heart that had been clogged with unrealistic expectations and warped perceptions.

My rocking chair in the dark used to be a very lonely place for me. I felt like I was the only person in the world that was awake and that no-one noticed or cared. But after reading this, I have started to try cherish my 2am wake up calls. I’ve started to notice that every time I walk into my Little Love’s room at whatever random time she’s chosen I am greeted with a smile and excitement. I started to become thankful for this time with my daughter. I now know that when one day these night time rendezvous’ suddenly stop I will be sad. While I’m sure I will be thankful for a full nights rest and the relief that my little girl is developing and growing up, I will miss my late night cuddles.

I’m not saying that dragging myself out of my warm and comfy bed is all of a sudden easy, or saying that this has suddenly cured my physical and mental exhaustion. But I am saying that in the darkness of every late night or early morning I have my little shining light. That sweet child that will one day not want to be cuddled all night long and that wont call for me when she needs a midnight snack.

So for now I will enjoy my sleepless nights for soon we will all be sleeping through the night.

** Credit and big thanks to Anna Gannon for sharing.

Hello World, it’ s Me – T… Again!

Hello world it’s me… again… I’ve decided to get back onto the blogging bandwagon, for some reason I feel like there may be some people out there who are actually interested in the random (and often crazy) thoughts that swim round in my head…

So who am I and why should you care? I’m a career woman, a wife, a mother and an immigrant far away from home. I’m just trying to figure out this thing called life. Most of what I write about will be things that come up from being one of the three things mentioned above or all three at once and how each one makes the others just that little bit harder.

And why should you care? You shouldn’t… well you can… but don’t feel like you have to. If you would like a glimpse into my world and my head then keep reading, even if just for entertainment purposes or to make yourself feel better about your own life, or if you’re just bored and scrolling through Facebook.

This blog will be IMG_3852all me. My honest and raw thoughts. My sarcasm, my potty-mouth and my correct use of the English language. Those who know me may be slightly terrified at the thought but will laugh with me because they love me. Those who don’t know me will probably laugh at me but will hopefully learn to love me… either way it’s ok with me.

But deep down I do hope for the chance to relate to other likeminded and similarly crazy people. People who are dealing with or have dealt with similar things, people who will giggle at the shit that I talk about because they’ve stepped in it too.

Here’s to a long relationship of open and honest conversation.